Azra is 12 days old today. Yesterday we got her footprints in paint. Not so easy as she is an extremely active baby. She was active inside the womb and maybe even more active outside. She hardly stays still for a moment. Trying to photograph her without a flash always leads to blurry photos! Even her footprints were a little blurry as she always managed to move her feet! She has the loveliest feet, especially the way she puts them when she is feeding.
We have had a few learning points in the last 5 days. Now I am breastfeeding her whenever she seems hungry. Breastfeeding is a mixed bag I think. It is an amazing feeling to know that you are able to feed your little baby with only your body and some additional water, amazing that your body is able to know how much milk to create through how much the baby drinks. The body is amazing ( as I have always thought) right from the creating of this amazing baby through to the milk, need I go on? Sometimes rather than feeding her straight away, when she starts exhibiting signs that she will cry, I start entertaining her (It doesn't last very long but distracts her for a little while when I think she is drinking too much). I have learnt that she likes the sound of Nil Karaibrahimgul! That's good as I have 3 of her cds. Azra can stay relatively still when I play her cds, providing she is not dying from hunger! But usually I just feed her when she wants it. Most people seem to agree that this is how it should be until the baby is about 40 days old, which is when they say regulating their intake to every 3 hours or so could be implemented. Usually she is happier this way although yesterday she was a little fussy, crying a lot during the day. Her system until yesterday seemed to be to wake for the second time from 7-8 and then feed and then go back to sleep, but yesterday no matter how much I fed her she wouldn't go back to sleep until about 10am. Today the same thing happened so I just changed her position and put her on my chest and she slept that way. Little things I am learning about her! Today we had a little accident in our bed. I put her to sleep in our bed after her 3rd feeding at 11am. She is only around 3.5kg now so she is wearing the diapers 3-6 kg. However sometimes the poo might come out the top of them out the back. This has happened a couple of times at night. Today when she did a wee (or a few) it also came out the top at the back and of course onto our sheets and mattress protector.
Being wet this upset her making her cry. I wanted to change the bed and wash the sheets at this early hour which was a little difficult while holding a now screaming baby, trying to change her out of her 1 hour ago clean clothes. I was thinking we were going to have a repeat of yesterday. I was exhausted yesterday after looking after her for a whole day by myself. Lucky when Husnu came home he immediately started taking interest in Azra. Of course he can only do so much and he can't do anything in the feeding department seeing we have decided only to breastfeed.Anyway today after the crying, changing and washing, I fed her. After feeding her she looked at me in the eyes and unbelievably for the first time she smiled up at me while looking in my eyes. What an amazing feeling this was. I cried! Now I understand what for ages other mothers have been telling me about motherhood. Some friends have even gone so far to say that having a child
is the only worthwhile thing you can do with a man!!! (usually divorced friends!) I will never forget this look for the rest of my life. It was such a beautiful moment. I think probably these feelings are unable to be understood until you actually live them, or at least that has certainly been how it is and has been for me.I am starting to see little bits of her personality. She gets very impatient very quickly. For example when she is breastfeeding and there is not enough milk coming or maybe she has emptied the breast she starts crying extremely loudly and her little legs and arms start pumping like a windmill. Sometimes she sits passively at the breast not even sucking hardly and then starts crying when there is no milk. This impatience could be either from me, from her rising sign being a leo or maybe all babies are like this???
Great to get an update. I had an experience during the week where I had to explain to a student that as you get older your concept of time changes. From what you've said here I understand that a week in the life of Azra is like a year of two for the rest of us. Brace yourself for dramatic change after change from week to week. I know you read the books - week 2 and she's already recognising and smiling at Anne - treasure it.
ReplyDeleteDavid
You realise that this will now become an "official" "significant" document. In years to come you will show it to Azra (just imagine if all our parents had kept a week by week diary) and there will come a time when she will ask you, why did it stop there? Words of encouragement - don't consider yourself writing this for family/friends and judging it's usefulness by how many comments you get. Think of it as something for you, Husnu and Azra to look back on in years to come.
ReplyDeleteOne final comment...in the last photo of this entry to your blog I see your legs/knees. That's as much as we've seen of you. I know you well enough to be able to say that you need to take photos of yourself with Azra. In years to come Azra will treasure the image of you cradling/hugging her. She'll want to know what her mother looked like when she was born. I've seen hundreds of photos of my nephew and niece and the ones I treasure most are those with me holding/feeding them. I'm the least photogenic person I know and I take no pleasure in seeing myself in photos but in order for you to capture the memories properly, make sure you are included in the photos. You don't need to post them here but at least take them and keep them in a private collection.
ReplyDeleteThe last comment is very true. When you are older and you look back it is not only yourself that you want to see but also your family members and friends, they are a document of the past. I should make more of an effort to capture these memories and include us and friends in the photos. Thanks.
ReplyDelete