Azra is 54 days old

At the moment Azra is in her expressive period. She is now smiling a lot. This morning for example I leant over her bassinet to get her out and she just smiled at me. This smiling lasted for what seemed like at least a few minutes. They even pass into giggles at time! Her smiles are so beautiful! For me this is what makes being a mother so special. I don't do anything special to make her smile, she just smiles, sometimes it is in response to my smile sometimes just spontaneous. It's such a lovely thing! I can't imagine life without her. Although I am glad I waited this long for her, I don't know how I would have survived if many years ago she had come into my life- now was the right time.
She is 'talking' a lot now. Lots of ohs and all sorts of language that she knows but we don't have access to! I guess she is just imitating what she hears? I love it when I leave her somewhere, on her chair for example and while looking at some inanimate object she chatters away. Sometimes she is even smiling then! The other day I left her laying on the chair and the sunlight was dancing across the top of the chair. As she was watching the movements of the sun on the chair she was chattering and cooing away or the other day I left her with her stuffed monkey and it was as if she was chattering away to the monkey- Husnu says I am overusing my imagination! A few weeks ago I was thinking that it wasn't great being a baby in that they can't express what they want, they suffer pain and can't express what the problem is. Now however I think it is lovely to be a baby as I see Azra revelling in the most simple things and getting pleasure out of it. We have forgotten such simple pleasures! Even her many many stretches as she wakes up after a sleep are refreshing!
When she gets the chance and a little support she loves standing up. I think I remember hearing that this is a reflex and that it will disappear for a while. Well she certainly seems to enjoy it. I think she will be much happier when she can do things for herself an attains a bit of independence. That will be a little while yet. She is also much better during the evenings, we can sometimes even have dinner without having to get up and soothe her by walking around or rocking her. While it is still summer we are putting her to bed about 9pm, so that means she is still up while we eat. She is usually asleep by 9.30 /10 and then wakes up around 4-5 and then again at 7-8 and then again at 9-10. She sleeps again in the afternoon for 2-3 hours as well if I'm lucky, if not then I take her for a walk in the carrier and then she sleeps. I made her a little sunhat. At least people say less things about taking a baby out in the sun now. I never took her out in the middle of the day and also never exposed her to the sun for more than a few minutes while walking but still people would say something about it (apparently people will always have something to say here about babies and kids no matter what you do) and think that it is actually a good thing especially in terms of vitamin D intake. Well life is a little easier now that I put her hat on (in terms of people's comments)! But anyway she is so cute in it. Now I guess it is better and she only gets a little sun on her face and elsewhere.
Breastfeeding is much easier now. She feeds usually around every 2 hours rather than what was like every hour, and she can finish within 10 minutes. Here in Turkey the WHOs suggestions of exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months and then supplemental food for upto 2 is taken very seriously. Where there is a choice in terms of birth (although weighed heavily towards cesarean) it seems to be taken for granted that you will breastfeed. Doctors make the assumption, friends etc. In fact I know of no Turkish woman who didn't breastfeed. It is quite different than in the west! I remember reading of two girls in Australia and there reaction to seeing a woman breastfeeding in public. Apparently they said 'That's gross. Can't she afford bottles?' This is surely perverted values. Here we have the same problem towards natural birth- it as almost assumed that one will have a cesarean! Azra's doctor was proudly telling us how his hospital is so oriented towards natural birth. He got us to guess that numbers as he proudly told us that the number of births in July was 60. I thought it must have been pretty good for him to be so proudly telling us. Out of 60 births 25 were normal births....and apparently that is something to be proud of. I think it is shameful! Back to breastfeeding though- I must admit though that breastfeeding was difficult at first (and still is at times as Azra cries inexplicably as I try to feed her!) and took some getting used to and a lot of reading about and consultation. I can understand why some might give up, but it is such a beautiful thing and such a wonderful way to bond. On a more selfish note, only you can bond that way with the child! It is also a nice way to make you slow down and just be with the baby.

Azra's 43 days old!

Well we are past the postnatal and newborn period and the magic Turkish 40 days. Maybe this is so in many cultures but for the first 40 days in Turkey the baby shouldn't be taken outside and shouldn't have visitors outside of the family - as I understand. My friends were joking that the mother should be in bed in this period and fed 'lohusalik sherbet'- lohusa means postnatal. Unfortunately, I don't even know what this sherbet is made from, let own spending this time in bed! They say that this 40 days is the most difficult. I guess it is the getting used to the baby, the stress this may cause in your relationship, getting used to being tied to the house (in the case of the woman unfortunately- no such thing for the man- although I am not really complaining I haven't left Azra for more than 20 minutes when I have had to do something and as yet I can't imagine leaving her). Let's see if this is still the case in a month. I have come to think that no matter how much men think they want a child that it is really only the woman who really understands what it entails and who is prepared to deal with those things. Maybe I am wrong but it certainly seems to be like this. For a woman who is breastfeeding it is much more difficult, especially in terms of freedom. Perhaps however it is hormones that helps women deal with this - perhaps??? But anyway the first 40 days are over and if that is the most difficult part then we should be able to cope with what is coming. What was difficult? The constant breastfeeding- sometimes I would feed her only to have to feed her another 20 minutes later. Or the crying, the gas problems, being able to go to the toilet or have a shower in amongst all of these things, getting used to be 3 people rather than 2 people and a cat! Not understanding what the problem was but knowing there was a problem. Now we are slowly getting used to our new life and wouldn't change it for the world!
Here we have Husnu and Azra. It looks like there is some resemblance afterall, even if not physically! If only we could get Azra to sleep so easily all the time life would be much easier!
In the last week we have seen a bit of development in Azra. Everyday pretty much she gets bigger and in the last week we have seen her limbs fill out and become baby plump! She is about 4.4kg now. Her sight has developed quite a bit, you can see now that she is actually looking at things rather than just looking into space. When I take a photo now she looks at the camera even without me saying anything! Yesterday she saw me putting the carrier on and she even stopped crying and started brightening . She is regularly smiling at me now, even when doing mundane things as changing her nappy. She smiled at her dad for the first time yesterday as well- made his day! She can sit up better now as well. She seems to hear as she turns her head towards sounds. She is getting over her gas problem, not to say that it doesn't cause her problems on occasions but she lays in bed (or wherever) merrily passing wind and there is usually no crying to be heard- maybe I shouldn't say this, maybe tonight she may have gas pains!!! She seems to have gotten over the green poo problem. I guess it is just a matter of the development of the digestion system. She also seems to not be as unhappy at night. We had a regular crying hour from 8-9 sometimes earlier sometimes later and that doesn't seem to be as regular or at least as intense anymore or maybe we are getting used to it and getting better at handling it! We would regularly be practising our singing skills, strengthening our forearms carrying her on her stomach as she likes, dancing with her. Again though, maybe I shouldn't say anything as we never know what will happen tonight! I like this photo. It is like she is thinking, she was twirling her fingers at the time and touching her chin with one of her fingers.
And the last one is the first time she wore a dress. This probably won't happen much (at least when I am dressing her) so I thought I should record it! We bought reusable nappies a week ago. My environmental conscious got to me and I bought a trial pack. Today I got around to finally trying them. As soon as I put the nappy on, Azra started crying. I guess she didn't like it, and it was huge! There were 4 layers, 2 of towelling, one of cotton and one of leakproof outer pants. It would be rather difficult to dress her in some outfits with such big pants! Anyway they only lasted for about an hour! I guess I am too used to disposable nappies like Azra. You would have to change her after every toilet going pretty much otherwise she would end up a mess! They don't absorb like disposable nappies. I will have to satisfy my environmental conscious with everything else I do- recycling, buying locally, using cloth and water to clean her bottom rather than wetwipes etc. I can't imagine what made me think I could use reusable nappies. Lucky Azra didn't like them! I try to imagine being wrapped with a similar product- uggghh!

Azra's fifth week

This is Azra's fifth week. Her first month has passed. Soon according to Turkish people she will have passed the important 40 day period. According to many Turkish people during this time a baby shouldn't be taken outside. I guess if you look at it from a medical point of view this is about the immune system. So this last week has still been the period of green poo and gas production. They say that the gas problem will go by 6-8 weeks or maybe 4 months- I guess that is a short time in terms of a life but it seems like ages at this moment when you are dealing with a crying, writhing baby! We bought some natural medicine- a gripe water- last week that seems to work but it does have essential oils in it and I am not sure how good that is for a 5 week old baby so what we have started now is a traditional Turkish remedy of nutmeg in milk and giving that to her. You grate about a quarter of a teaspoon of nutmeg (people just say biraz- meaning some!) into a little milk and then let it stand for 20 minutes. I have been expressing some milk and then mix that with the nutmeg, filtering it and then use it within 24 hours. Apparently research has shown that breastmilk can be safely stored in the fridge for up to 8 days without any problems. into I started this 24 hours ago. She hasn't had any major gas problems yesterday or today but maybe that is just luck! And she is even swallowing the mixture without spitting too much out! We have discovered that her favourite position is on her front, not only when sleeping during the day but also when being carried. She swings her head around looking to her right and to her left (well I don't know if she is really looking at something or not) but she is certainly working to strengthen her neck muscles! Apparently gassy babies love being on their front because of the pressure. Anything to make her more comfortable! We also massage her tummy and do yoga movements to dispel the gas. They work but not 100% and not all the time.
This week has also been the week of the gummy smiles. She must be recognising either me or can understand the expressions on my face and is mimicking them. That seems to me to be pretty amazing for a 33 day old baby. Once it was before breastfeeding but the other times it was just in response when I was talking to her and smiling at her. She is also recognising her name. Sometimes I say Azra when she is feeding and she comes out of her slumber and continues sucking. As for Husnu though he calls her 'beautiful girl' (guzel kizim) or just 'my daughter' (kizim), that probably won't help her recognise her name!
Over the past 4 weeks I have seen that Azra moves in and out of states very quickly, sleep wakefulness, active alert, fussy etc. Dr Terry Brazelton the famous American pediatrician says that that shows that she will be an intense and active person. Well I would say that has also been fairly well proven by Azra herself in her first month of life!
We had her 1 month check up as well thus week. She has gained more weight than average- 1kg. She is now 4.1kg and 56cm long, I guess I can't say tall seeing she isn't yet upright!
My mum crocheted some great shoes for Azra and sent them from Australia. You can see them on her feet in the photo. Actually she made 17 pairs which I thought was a little exaggerated until I put them on Azra and she had them off in a couple of minutes, I guess 17 pairs is just in case.... maybe I'll add a photo of some of the shoes here... By the way I just discovered that nutmeg has possible cumulative effects which might be toxic and that it is also an hallucinogenic. Maybe not good for continuous use for a small baby..... I will have to go back to the gripe water or to herbal tea!

Azra's fourth week

Azra is 27 days old today, which means that tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since she was born. It is hard to understand where that time has gone. And even though life is definitely harder then it was before Azra came along, I can't imagine life without her now! Life without this cute face, how was it possible???
This week has been week of the poo! For 4 days now she has had green poo and explosive at that! As one of my friends said maybe I shouldn't be feeding her spinach soup!!! With all the other symptoms and signs she displays and with the help of a breastfeeding consultant it appears that she is getting too much milk, especially the foremilk which is high in lactose, which she can't digest without the fatty hindmilk. According to researchers, the foremilk comes first and is probably so to quench thirst first and then comes the hindmilk, the rich calorie-laden milk. But when the latter is not taken in correct amounts/balance (when their is too much milk or when feeds are too short) then the lactose can not be digested by babies which causes a lot of pain for the baby, gassiness, tummy aches etc. Which is the reason as to why she cries in pain- poor thing! And she is so gassy! How terrible it is to be a baby- you can't communicate what you are feeling or experiencing to those looking after you. At least we adults can do this (of course whether or not we choose to do so is in our own hands, but at least we have the capability!) So what we are experimenting with the guidance of the counsellor is offering one breast for 3-4 hours to make sure it is completely drained. This type of feeding is called block-feeding which I will do until things return to normal. This started 1-1.5 days ago. I am seeing less of the signs of discomfort at the breast and immediately after feeding at least and we may have to wait a couple of more days for the other signs to disappear. I think she may be even less gassy. Let's hope this is what it is! I have rad quite a lot of research on this- they call it 'hyperlactation' producing too much milk because of too much demand and having a too forceful let-down reflex. What is interesting though, because I couldn't exactly understand it was why babies who suffer from this mostly have too much weight gain. It sort of seems illogical to me. Azra is gaining way too well. The nurse came around and weighed Azra the other day (23 days old) and the scales said 4 kg! She was 3.19 at birth- and then she went down to 3.05 grams so that means at least 950 grams in 20 days, so almost 50grams per day!! What I have also learnt, through the amount of accidents we have had with poo this week, is the particular sounds she makes when she is trying to poo as well as facial expressions. And also how long to wait after Azra does a poo until changing her nappy- because her poos are explosive it is quite dangerous to be changing her nappy when she hasn't quite finished- it can take up to 10 minutes for her to get everything out. Plus I have just started doing baby massage and baby yoga with her, so I do certain movements which help bowel movements seeing she has such problems with gas. I have learnt that it is a mistake to do those movements just before changing nappies! At least 10 minutes before seems to be safer!
Here we have a picture of Azra in her baby carrier. She loves being in this. It is guaranteed (at least everytime I have used it to this end) to stop her crying- quite useful now when trying to regulate her milk intake! If she is crying then she usually continues for a couple of minutes but it lessens as I walk around a bit and then it completely stops as we go outside. Then in 5 or so minutes she is completely asleep! It is said this is because of how it reminds them of being in the womb. It is interesting the comments I get from people on the street. Carriers at all are not seen much in Istanbul (except for the Roma women perhaps), especially not like this one which I picked up in Australia. Some people think it is great, others ask if the baby can breathe inside, or they say what a pity it is as the baby can't move. But there has been a lot of research done which prove what great things baby carriers are for babies. It's mostly about movement- especially for gassy babies and close contact. Although it is pretty hot now in July/August in Istanbul with this particular carrier!
Last night Husnu's cousin had her wedding so for the first time I had to look after Azra for the whole day and night by myself. It was not too bad. I had to take her out for a walk in her carrier though early evening to try to get her to stop crying though. And it was very hard to cook a very simple stir fry. Although the bath, which we have always done together, was easy enough. I take my hat off to women (and men) who look after their babies themselves, especially single mothers and fathers. And below is today's picture of Azra!