Azra is 54 days old

At the moment Azra is in her expressive period. She is now smiling a lot. This morning for example I leant over her bassinet to get her out and she just smiled at me. This smiling lasted for what seemed like at least a few minutes. They even pass into giggles at time! Her smiles are so beautiful! For me this is what makes being a mother so special. I don't do anything special to make her smile, she just smiles, sometimes it is in response to my smile sometimes just spontaneous. It's such a lovely thing! I can't imagine life without her. Although I am glad I waited this long for her, I don't know how I would have survived if many years ago she had come into my life- now was the right time.
She is 'talking' a lot now. Lots of ohs and all sorts of language that she knows but we don't have access to! I guess she is just imitating what she hears? I love it when I leave her somewhere, on her chair for example and while looking at some inanimate object she chatters away. Sometimes she is even smiling then! The other day I left her laying on the chair and the sunlight was dancing across the top of the chair. As she was watching the movements of the sun on the chair she was chattering and cooing away or the other day I left her with her stuffed monkey and it was as if she was chattering away to the monkey- Husnu says I am overusing my imagination! A few weeks ago I was thinking that it wasn't great being a baby in that they can't express what they want, they suffer pain and can't express what the problem is. Now however I think it is lovely to be a baby as I see Azra revelling in the most simple things and getting pleasure out of it. We have forgotten such simple pleasures! Even her many many stretches as she wakes up after a sleep are refreshing!
When she gets the chance and a little support she loves standing up. I think I remember hearing that this is a reflex and that it will disappear for a while. Well she certainly seems to enjoy it. I think she will be much happier when she can do things for herself an attains a bit of independence. That will be a little while yet. She is also much better during the evenings, we can sometimes even have dinner without having to get up and soothe her by walking around or rocking her. While it is still summer we are putting her to bed about 9pm, so that means she is still up while we eat. She is usually asleep by 9.30 /10 and then wakes up around 4-5 and then again at 7-8 and then again at 9-10. She sleeps again in the afternoon for 2-3 hours as well if I'm lucky, if not then I take her for a walk in the carrier and then she sleeps. I made her a little sunhat. At least people say less things about taking a baby out in the sun now. I never took her out in the middle of the day and also never exposed her to the sun for more than a few minutes while walking but still people would say something about it (apparently people will always have something to say here about babies and kids no matter what you do) and think that it is actually a good thing especially in terms of vitamin D intake. Well life is a little easier now that I put her hat on (in terms of people's comments)! But anyway she is so cute in it. Now I guess it is better and she only gets a little sun on her face and elsewhere.
Breastfeeding is much easier now. She feeds usually around every 2 hours rather than what was like every hour, and she can finish within 10 minutes. Here in Turkey the WHOs suggestions of exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months and then supplemental food for upto 2 is taken very seriously. Where there is a choice in terms of birth (although weighed heavily towards cesarean) it seems to be taken for granted that you will breastfeed. Doctors make the assumption, friends etc. In fact I know of no Turkish woman who didn't breastfeed. It is quite different than in the west! I remember reading of two girls in Australia and there reaction to seeing a woman breastfeeding in public. Apparently they said 'That's gross. Can't she afford bottles?' This is surely perverted values. Here we have the same problem towards natural birth- it as almost assumed that one will have a cesarean! Azra's doctor was proudly telling us how his hospital is so oriented towards natural birth. He got us to guess that numbers as he proudly told us that the number of births in July was 60. I thought it must have been pretty good for him to be so proudly telling us. Out of 60 births 25 were normal births....and apparently that is something to be proud of. I think it is shameful! Back to breastfeeding though- I must admit though that breastfeeding was difficult at first (and still is at times as Azra cries inexplicably as I try to feed her!) and took some getting used to and a lot of reading about and consultation. I can understand why some might give up, but it is such a beautiful thing and such a wonderful way to bond. On a more selfish note, only you can bond that way with the child! It is also a nice way to make you slow down and just be with the baby.